So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is wine microwaveable?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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