I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
