Its about making memories worth repressing
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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