My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
