piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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