1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think i have herpe
just one?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
