So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My ass is underappreciated
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
