I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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