I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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