Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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