Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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