He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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