she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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