its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
