are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
