I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
