You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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