So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
