I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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