Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
