he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My cat gives me a boner
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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