ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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