I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
