I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
