the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize