even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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