a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
