Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
