Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Will exercising make me less horny?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
