What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He felt like a one man threesome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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