Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
