Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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