For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
