What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
