Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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