please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
