You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
