she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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