How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
