I bet he comes in French.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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