people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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