I'm gonna have a badass scar
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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