doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
