He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
