dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
