One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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