guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
