turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
