Me too!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
