my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
